| someone help me understand |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|01:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | im fucking dead | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ian van dahl " will i " | ] |
i wish i knew what was going on. |
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| my life |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|01:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i dont ever know | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ian van dahl " will i " | ] |
i live a life in euphoria. but sometimes i just throw up because it makes me sick... |
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| nothing is real |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|12:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i dont know | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | microbe " exit to nowhere | ] |
every day i live in a dream. nothing seems real. everything i see is so surreal. sometimes i don't even know if it exists. even myself. i dont know. my fingers. my face. my hair. my toes. my body. it all seems so strange and unreal. everything has lost some of its touch one way or another. i don't know how to even explain this all the way. i have never told anyone this before. everything i look at is somewhat and always a distant blur. everything i touch i dont know if it feels like something because i cant always feel it. my head is always cloudy. there are no more racing thoughts. just blurry images and surreal mental photography. ok here it goes. i dont think i am real. i dont think anything is real. it is always like a dream. weird. i question reality all the time. i get sick thinking about it. but to me everything is perfect. i dont like it sometimes but for the most part its perfect. i dont even know what making sense means. i live in a dream. like when i look at someones face when i am talking to them or look around me and at my surroundings. is it real. what is real. i don't know... |
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| down in the dumps |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ian van dahl "castles in the sky" | ] |
i used to hate feeling like this. now i am used to it. i dont think anyone deserves to ever get used to feeling this way. it comes and goes. but when it comes it hits hard. depression is something that no one should have to get used to. it's so strange to me how often it comes and goes. i just don't get it. i guess i never will. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|10:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | agnostic front "still here" | ] |
i love my friends <333 |
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| fun times |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | boston "more than a feeling" | ] |
i had fun time yesterday thanks everybody |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|11:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | afi girls not grey | ] |
happy birthday kyle
i love u bro |
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| this bullshit needs to fucking stop NOW!!! |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|12:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | coldplay "trouble" | ] |
im sick and tired of being the fucking scapegoat. i am sick and tired of people accusing me of stealing. im sick and tired of people making me the center of attention. im sick and tired of people making me feel like shit. im sick and tired of losing friends over lies and gossip. i didnt steal anything from anyone. im sick and tired of feeling like people hate me because im fucking innocent. fuck it. dont ever even approach me for anything for any fucking reason. dont ever fucking talk to me again. i am serious about this. you obviously were never my true friends because you think of some outrageous things to accuse me of. dont ever fucking think about me. dont ever even talk about me to anyone. you will never get my friendship again. thats all ive ever been is a fucking friend.
so most of all FUCK YOU!!!
im not a fucking thief. im not a fucking piece of shit. im nothing to you. i cant believe you ever even considered yourself a friend of mine. you never were this accusation proves it. i cant believe i considered you a friend. i guess i didnt know any better. so go on living a pathetic life. assholes |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
i feel so... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|01:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fucking not in the mood | ] |
what the fuck are you? |
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| the worst thing since presidency... |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|09:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the acacia strain "roadhead road" | ] |
actually this is a good thing. tha munch bitch. make one. eat one. you will never be the same. fuckin dumb fucks you dont know fucking meat. murder. life. where u at. boom!!! |
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| i wonder... |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|06:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | terror "overcome" | ] |
have you ever been lost on a staircase??? i have. it sucked!!! |
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| fuck shit cock fuck |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|01:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a.f.i. "death of seasons" | ] |
i woke up too late today. fuck... |
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| bored |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | avenged sevenfold "warmness on the soul" | ] |
i am moving into an apartment this weekend. its my house... yes!!!
so whoever wants to stop by and chill just let me know. wooooo!!!! |
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| soo.... |
[May. 31st, 2005|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | america fuck yea | ] |
what... |
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| i dont know |
[May. 27th, 2005|04:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  shocked | ] |
all i know is that my life was threatened at midnite. i don't know if i am dead or alive. but my car is on the side of i-4 some where. smashed up to pieces. i survived the worst car crash of my life. almost like what happend to that dale earndhart guy... i am without any music. what shall i do...??? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2005|01:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | square pusher "heliosphan" | ] |
do you ever question your life? please tell me why, do we build castles in the sky? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2005|03:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
this wasnt my choice... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2005|12:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | aphex twin "come to daddy" | ] |
Living today... living this life. is like a bottomless pit. when is it going to end...<333 |
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xidburnforyoux's journal
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